July

July is the first episode of Warren United. It first aired on ITV4 on April 22, 2014.

Plot
Brainsford United are losing 4-0 to Altonbury Rovers and are in danger of being relegated, until an own goal in the last minute keeps them up.

Back home, Warren is watching a dull documentary on Brainsford United. He is bored out of his wits, now that the football season is over. Ingrid. his Dutch wife, is preparing for her airline ground staff and cabin crew exam.

At Kitchen Madness, Warren explains his boredom at the football off-season to his workmate Dillip, who replies that he is just as bored in the line dancing off-season. Warren is taken to an even duller cricket match due to Dillip's obsession in that sport.

The Kingsley family decides to send him some help to get him through a match-free July, but he drives the therapist to tears by blabbing on about football. She sends Warren to a specialist, guaranteed to cure his football obsession, who turns out to be a German professor, based on Dr Frankenstein. He exclaims "PAIN IS GOOD!!!" and gives him many very painful methods, including being hit in the groin with a football.

Eventually, the successful methods that Warren has received seem to have done the trick. He is no longer a football fanatic, has now de-cluttered his house, has got rid of all his Brainsford memorabilia, is building shelves across the house (albeit very badly, proving he is awful at DIY), and spends more time with his family. He is also helping his wife with the exam.

Warren's mum shows her annoyance at his wonky shelves and breaks one of them off the wall. Ingrid is reading an 'Air Traffic Control for Dummies' guide inside the shed. Warren arrives and asks his family to go metal detecting.

Back at Kitchen Madness, Warren explains his new lifestyle to Dillip and at home, is building shelves outside. He takes his 7-year-old son Harrison to a football game where he purposely swaps his season ticket for two of Burger Al's burgers. This therefore causes concern for the Kingsleys, and Warren decides to re-plumb the whole house. After soaking the whole family, the Kingsleys decide that this is the last straw and send Warren back to the German professor's lab for a reversal.

Afterwards, he is cured, and decides to take down all the shelves and finds that Ingrid has failed the exam, because the examiner's phone reminded her of Warren's football obsession and she snapped the phone in half.

At the first game of the new season, Warren rushes over to Burger Al to retrieve his season ticket. The game ends with a goalless draw against East Ham United. "This is the season where it's all gonna happen", quotes Warren as the episode ends.

Trivia

 * First episode, first appearance of all characters.